Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
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