I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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