Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize