I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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