Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
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