Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize