I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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