Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize