I am in a vortex of obligation.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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