I puked a lego.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize