Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize