I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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