of course. lets lasso hookers.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize