if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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