There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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