So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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