My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
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