Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize