I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
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I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
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I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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