i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
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