I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
where are my eyebrows?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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