Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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