i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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