You smell like stripper and shame
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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