i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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