god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
It's Friday. Sex?
barbara walters just said penis...
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
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Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize