my being single is dangerous.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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