i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
God I need to hump something, right now.
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