i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
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Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
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He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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