Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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