Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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