when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
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