Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize