i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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