Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
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how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
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I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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