matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
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they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
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I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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