It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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