i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize