So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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