I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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