They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Randomize