dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize