she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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