They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Just cropdusted the office
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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