She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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