But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize