my room smells like sperm. sweet.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize