Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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