If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize