There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
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haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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