Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I looked at my own cervix.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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