I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
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I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
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Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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